3/3/23 Guilty As Charged 

Morgans Tarot 

What’s Happening? 

Who knows what the figures on the card mean? Or this is an innocent question as to why you are allowing this nonsense to occur.The cube corresponds to the element earth, the triangle to fire, and the circle to water.

Yoga Sutra 1.51

Tasya pi nirodhe sarva nirohan nirvichara samadhi

When the impressions of even the spontaneous self awareness are transcended there remains only the serene and undisturbed state of all knowing wisdom 

Her we are promised undisturbed peace and liberation of samskaras and they are like burnt seeds (nirbija) this gets us off the wheel or karma. No more craving and aversion not more incarnation is needed.  

This Ends Book 1 of the Yoga Sutra.  

What is happening ?  I am not sure but it is taking all my time and energy mentally and physically. Or is this an innocent question as to why I am allowing this nonsense to occur and taking part in it.  It is draining to try to navigate everyone’s emotions and listen to them empathetically.  Especially repeated patterns I find myself attached to them. 

I am not emotionally mature enough to handle others strong emotions without feeling them myself and the reaction in my body to them. I immediately want to go into old patterns of defending and blaming. I know I am not mature enough to by the observer and just witness with out becoming emotionally invested in my story about their story. I am not emotionally available for that behavior in myself or others,  

I know I am not the emotional support system others want me to be. I can feel I withdrawal and close my heart off when I feel the pull of energy through means of guilt and manipulation and mental game playing.  I see the game playing and often engage in it but I see how it robs me of energy.  I just need to stand firm in my heart center and keep my heart open and create boundaries in loving ways.  I refuse to allow my heart to close and be cut off for fear of pain, guilt & shame that is projected to me ,on me or that I am still personally carrying thought my accumulated baggage of this life or any others.  These declarations will keep me accountable as I move along the path.  I will be happy free and gentle with myself.  The only way out of it is through it.  I came down to earth in a body for all the feels no where else will I get this in body experience.